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1. |
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2. |
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I am crawling at redemption
I am sick to death with who I am
I am wicked as a tyrant
I am honest as the son of Sam
I am testifying wild
Bet the world there is no escape
Here you will be humble
Look down at the mess you made
I am sycophantic vantage point
I'm drunk now at this dead saloon
I am sipping time like poison
Call me Socrates when i bring ruin
Angel babe, revision makes a Saint of every sinner here
You'll perfect my misery cut the mold revealing what you fear
This is nobody's revival
Just an empty tent for fucking fate
I am always in my bottle by the time I leave
Then it's too late
Like a camera flash the moment
Couldn't capture it in analog
Smiling like a harlequin, before I pull this dirty bong
Newborn child, won't you ever see
The fate of the world
eternity
Im a miserable old liar
But the reception teaches me my place
You think I have rejected you but I know it's the other way
A devil mask yr wearing but baby I can see you cry
When no else is watching I hear you singing by and by
Satan dear, I see you
Where the jackals speak yr cruelest views
And the drugs are weak but plenty we turn on the evening news
I smile like actor, I'm not ever getting clean
You hold me close but I am somewhere else
And my head is missing
Salome redemption isn't worth its weight in gold
I was chasing for my future but now I'm just feeling old
Cacophony that danger is a sonnet out there for your love
Raise my hands to heaven in the quiet evening come undone
Dying artist, hold your head up high
Nobody understands you
But yr just like gods or at least mine
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3. |
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Christen creation with simplicity
Never rely on authority
To test of the power that comes from within
Give up on transcendence like saints learn to sin
I am not worthy to lie at your feet
But I wade in the water
Crawl underneath
By the light of your candle
Confession at night
You might bring me to the light
Distant years pass in the space of a day
Carries on history secret or plain
Fixed as the stars bove the empyrean
Radiant fire beginning and end
I am not stronger than your waking belief
So don't you hold faith
In what you cannot see
By the dark of your grace
Risen morning star
You will be carried far
So you best love, all your enemies
You are young, but the world is at your feet
Visit my future with naught but mercy
Throw up your hands and just let it be
To know of the thing that is greater than man
Nothing it's nothing it comes from within
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4. |
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Lifting my drink to the gods of the sky
I'm a cynical lover but never you mind
Half past a quarter an hour to eight
I'm the numb passerby not yet storming the gate
Of tomorrow, starvation will make like a flood
Two by two helpless abandoned for love
Of a stranger harmonic till dissonance comes ~
Like a wolf in the night like a shell in your brain
I call you collect but it's always the same
Falling and falling a long long way down so I jump in the river
With stones for to drown
And wake up in the army of David, his kin
Are the whimsical beautiful guilty within
Like a statue there waiting they can't comprehend
How the state of the world falls to this bloody whim ~
Like a fire of heaven a turbulent storm
That knocks on my doorstep this early morn
And reminds me of all of the suffering light
I douse myself in flames and I close my eyes
Until the dark ocean settles her calm
Tilt of the axis undying love
Meek as my Nazareth poverty won
In my English verse in my foreigner's tongue ~
Still drunk on the liquor of every vine
Still holding the offering with none to call mine
Thinking of how little that I have left
So I pull a knife slowly into my chest
It was somewhere out there in the streets that I find
The dead man in the arms of another kind
And lightning epiphany hesitance, hate
Were joyfully absent as he reached for fate
And pulled life from the gaping hole in my chest
And breathed in the fire that wouldn't relent
And drank of the wine all darkened with meaning
And faded away as if from a dream
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5. |
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Tell me who are you
Child of god
Everything seems blurry
Everything seems far
If I knew myself
I'm a stranger at the bar
No more witnesses
Who know what I did
Tell me who I am
Child of mine
Everything's a mystery
Brought down from the other side
My god has vanished
There's no strength for my fingers
To bear witness
How do I start again
With the weight of the decades
With the suffering of nations
With the contracted wrongs
With the nuclear bomb
Tell me what you see
Child of man
Collapsed there in the gutter
Front page held in hand
Your celebrities won't protect you the mayhem
Are they witnesses
Where the truth is hid
With the weight of your decline
With the clouds over your mind mind
With the functioning addiction
With all that you've given
Tell me what to believe
Preacher of sin
Because if the world is upside down
We can count on you to win
But I persist, reach my fingers toward the memories
I bear witness
And try to start again
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6. |
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Would that it were better that I had not been born
And never known this suffering that leaves us both deformed
Do I take possession of this inheritance
I've worn out all my prospects
No earthly wisdom
Ain't got no money
Good as grace
So I'm starving
Bring me water
Or bring me faith
Wander through this desert
The best part of forty years
Lies as cruel as scripture
Falling on deaf ears
Because the multitude it hammers
Out all those deemed too sincere
To the lion's den, to be born again
Yr love like an oasis
Or is it a mirage
That only serves to prove my folly
As I survive despite the odds
Fed by the dispossessed
Risen up from my grave
They bring me limes and cheap tobacco
And don't ask me once my name
Because the dream in my possession
Makes angel out of them
Who earthly lies have ruined
Like scripture's revelation
Are just dreams of earthly monsters
Shadow paintings on the wall
Of this dimly lit theatre
Where everyone is lost
Today they found a body
Hanging under the gate
She used to be an acrobat
Who danced upon the stage
Until one day the fracture of her
Weariness succumbed
To the cruelty of her lovers
Who cut her bloody tongue
To speak bile to authority
To crucify her love
So don't ask me if she rests below
Or looks down us above
And if there is a heaven
I really hope her body finds
Some peaceful absolution
With time out of her mind
Because I know that one day it will be my turn to hang
I won't ask for forgiveness by then it will be too late
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7. |
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If love could fit into a definition
I think I'm in love with the whole world
If trust was measured in those not corrupted
No one will ever live to claim
A resting place
No dream escapes
The cultivated anchor of my word
A rubix cube, to follow you
Down into some great wheel that unfurls
With images and memories
That tangle in a vision
Bric a brac yr heart attack
As the crowd it gathers in
To ask you of the moral soul
And the spirit that wakes you
Up from restless visions
Yr knowing faithless hatred
Upon the Marble Arch
The bus stop where epiphany awaits
In the desert rain
If pain meant missing you tomorrow
I think that I've never known the way
If silence, is waiting for us at the end
Everyone should greet death a friend
Watch the river flooding at its banks
Drinking blood corruptionless decay
So I wait, in this station
Where the lonely share their dreams
No one listening, tomorrow
As they cry and kick and scream
Cacophony of whispers
As the travelling caravan
Sells the world as trinkets
Offered to the son of man
Who builds attention with no question
Of the beginning or the end
We're caught in the dialectic
Of this cruel absolution
So never mind your Bible
Floating in the dying sea
Forgive all your oppressors
Who know not what they mean
They testify corruption
In the visceral routine
That carries all the armies
As they March over Wall Street
You hear the ringing bell
Caught in the desert wind
And we're born into a blossom
Of freedom and innocence
But there is nothing as lucky
There is no one as true
There is no love to die for
And no dreams are renewed
Just a metaphor lying through bloody teeth
And god is just a tyrant who we're all underneath
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8. |
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I am the water and I am the wine
That runs from your blood into the end times
I am the prophecy forgetting time
Let me pass through your lips let me
weight on your mind
Pretty boy, I am just an idea
A refracted metaphysic there within
This mirrored reflection, the nature of being covers us all over but no one is seeing
Pretty boy, tell me, what can you do
In the dark of your hatred, your cold bitter truth
This dumb algorithm, speaks falsely to you
In its coded language you read the reviews
I am the king and I am the cross
That flooded your eyes, your innocence lost
I am the multitude clawing with sin
Let me pull off your clothes and claw at your skin
Pretty boy, always running away
In the protected light, the cellophane gray
That fruit still forbidden, knowledge always fades
That just might free us do you know the way
Pretty boy, holds me down deep underneath
The pale rising tide lifting yr feet
De facto messiah, impossible love
For a poet unspeakable christening trust
I am the fire and I am the flood
That runs from the end times straight to yr blood
I am the heroin coursing inside
Let me pass from your lips to your beautiful mind
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9. |
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Live every day
Like an epiphany
Cause revelation
Is the future's thief
Live everyday
Like it might be yr last
Because tomorrow
Isn't guaranteed
If I were love
There'd be no poverty
If I were love
I'd sing eternity
If I were love
No one would sleep in the streets
If I were love
Death wouldn't bother me
Kill the voice
That ever made you doubt
You have a choice
To live within without
A second thought
To ask you what it means
Take to the streets
Or leave society
If I were love
There'd be no faith in me
The chalice pours
A vision opening
To question faith
But don't you question me
If I were love
Then you'd be all I need
She runs so fast
She runs so fast from me
If I'm alone
She won't abandon me
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10. |
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I was sent by god out on this journey
But never for a single second did I believe
Judges and kings all fall from their towers
Before my closed book of hours
So off with my head cut me down at the root
I'm a nuclear bomb and the fallout consumes
Every woman and every man
All those between they meet the same end
Testify Abraham I'll be your son
Little boy lost in the empyrean
Council me Hector I'm just like Achilles
Mourning what's erased in the myth lost to history
It's not like we remember the way back from here
We only get older and nothing is clear
Feeling my vision spiral and drop
I just think of you until this feeling stops
I was the crest of the moon o'er the sea
Consuming like time into lost mysteries
The devil alight on the stage in his bliss
Kisses my cheek as the martyr uplifts
Two tonguéd serpents go into the fire
Risen from the ashes I hang on the wire
Feeble enough in my cold misery
Little boy lost in my death, can't you see
Total eclipse and the sky dark as night
my feeble body is dragged in the daylight
Unfeeling witness, watches with dismay
You and I converge in this echo called fate
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These songs were written down in a short span, exactly six days, and recorded shortly thereafter. Most of the songs were structured around some artificial loop or sample from which the rest of the music was derived. I remember hearing some think piece concerning unusual depictions of John the Baptist, such as Michelangelo's. These songs are the result of my engagement with that tradition, as it continues to be written.
released February 13, 2023
A sample from the cartoon "Ali Baba Bunny" was used with the utmost respect in track two.
